If you are of a certain vintage you will possibly recognise the title of this post as being that of a song by Harry Chapin.
In this song Chapin told the story of a waitress and one of her customers.
It's a song or unrequited love, desperation and, in many ways, a lack of choices. The final line of the song sometimes echoes in my thoughts in an oddly motivational way...
"for I know I'm going nowhere and anywhere is a better place to be"
How many of us settle for 'anywhere' rather than striving for 'somewhere'?
Followers of some teachings might one to suggest that 'now' is the only place to be. Which could. of course be true. But does this mean we have to be 'ambition-less' and simply strive for inner peace?
If so, what place exists for development, creativity, innovation - all of which tend to hint at something not 'now' but of something 'yet to be'.
The woman in the song was clearly not happy with where she was (with being now) and was hoping for something better - but actually was disempowered enough to accept that 'anywhere' was better.
In life we are always in 'motion', perhaps one of the definitions of life itself, and hence change us ever present, perhaps that is a state of being, We may find ourselves travelling along the track ways of our lives into an uncertain and cloudy future.
Whilst there is something fatalistic about this metaphor, we can be 'happy' or 'content' with the fact that the track has been laid and we are following to where it leads. In this metaphor when we are faced with sidings or the possibility to change 'track' when we come to the various 'points' in the railway we are almost forced to make a choice. Should that choice be about going 'anywhere' or should it be about creating pathways that require new track to be laid or even to step 'off the rails' completely and forge our own passage?
If you choose not to make a choice (anywhere is a better place to be) then perhaps you abdicate the right to bemoan it - since you chose not to choose.
If you choose to forge your own path (somewhere is where I want to be) then you take on the challenge of creating new destinations - so why not make these destinations as empowering as possible - as clearly defined as possible?
Creating a Better Mood
Is it possible to create a better mood for yourself?
Can you do it for others?
If it is possible, why isn't everyone always happy?
It seems being happy is preferable to being in a bad mood.
Studies have shown it is possible to improve your mood. It can be as simple as thinking you're in a good mood. If you believe it, your attitude will change. In fact, even when you aren't in a good mood, the simple act of smiling can perk you up.
One reason why people don't improve their mood more often is that they don't know they can. From early childhood, we understand that we have different feelings. Sometimes we will be in a good mood and other times we won't. Parents and teachers told us it's just the way it is.
If you want to better your mood, start hanging out with upbeat people. There's nothing like a sourpuss to bring down a group. These cranky people seem to go out of their way to make sure everyone is miserable. By avoiding these people, you have less chance of being in a bad mood at the start.
Next, create an environment for yourself that lifts your spirits. If a certain type of music gets you pumped, play that music more often. Some people like to burn incense as they feel it can positively alter their moods.
You should reflect on your life and be grateful for what you have. You have a lot to be thankful for if you're in good health. If your family is in good health, you should also be grateful. Your mood will naturally increase towards the positive when you appreciate such things.
Try not to worry about the mundane issues in your life. They are going to happen whether you worry or not. Just take care of them so that they aren't hanging over your head. Don't let things build to the point that they become a major matter.
It may seem obvious, but do more things that make you happy and less that don't. It's not always possible to avoid adverse situations, but you do have control over most of the activities in your life.
Sometimes, all that is needed is to change up your routine. If you are doing the same activities day in and day out, this can make anyone feel in a bad mood. Try stepping up your game and do something out of the ordinary. In fact, make it a point to do this once every month.
You can download some notes here...
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The TV programme itself is free to view.
Dr Alan B Jones
Director Inspire NLP
Coach, Trainer, Author