Self-Belief: 7 Tips to Get Your Mind on Your Side
Self-belief isn't optional. It's vital. Think of all the things you haven't accomplished or tried because you didn't have enough belief in yourself. Self-doubt will always creep in at times. That's why it's so important to have an excess of belief in yourself.
Create a reserve of self-belief and you really can accomplish nearly anything you can imagine. What would you do if you believed you could do essentially anything? How would your life be different? How would you feel?
If you need a little more faith in yourself, read on:
1. Examine your beliefs. You weren't born with any limiting beliefs. You learned every single one of them. We all learn to limit ourselves unfairly. Give yourself the credit you deserve.
* Think about the limiting beliefs you already have. Do what you can to discard them. Ask yourself if this limiting belief is really legitimate. Where did it come from? What evidence do you have that it simply isn't true?
2. Give yourself an unlimited number of opportunities to be successful. It's easy to be filled with doubt if you think you only have once chance to get it right. Give yourself permission to "fail" as many times as necessary. Learn something from each attempt. This is a great way to build self-belief.
3. Eliminate self-criticism. As soon as self-doubt starts to invade your thoughts, ask yourself where that inner critic is coming from.
* Are you channeling a negative experience from the past?
* Is the source of this criticism credible? It rarely is.
* It can be challenging to quiet your mind, but that doesn't mean you have to let it drag you down. Focus on positive self-talk.
4. Trust and love yourself. For one month, try being your best friend instead of your worst enemy. How do you treat your best friend or your children? Probably a lot better than you treat yourself. Give yourself the gift of kindness.
5. Coach yourself. Everyone needs a little support and encouragement. So when you find yourself struggling, consider what you would say to someone that you really believed in if they were feeling the same way you are. When self-doubt starts to creep in, take a few minutes to coach yourself.
6. Think about how you would like to act. Think about how you would think and behave if you were full of self-confidence.
* You can effectively borrow traits from others, too. Who are some of your heroes? Sometimes it easier to imagine others dealing with a situation than to imagine ourselves. See yourself acting the way your hero would act.
7. Remember all your past victories. We've all accomplished some pretty impressive things, but we're quick to forget them. Grab a pen and some paper and list all the successes you've experienced in life, no matter how great or small.
* If you need help, ask a trusted friend or family member. You might be surprised at what you hear.
Self-belief isn't about becoming arrogant or turning a blind-eye to one's flaws. The belief you have in yourself needs to be focused on what you wish to become.
You can have weaknesses.
Everyone does. But there is value in being relaxed about your weaknesses and working to strengthen them.
A strong belief in yourself is a sure ticket to reaching great success.
Build your self-belief and seemingly impossible tasks can become routine.
An interesting phrase 'Self Improvement" ...
What 'self' is being improved and why??
I guess it can mean being a better person, learning something new, accomplishing more, or simply figuring out how to better enjoy the life you have.
I saw a post on Facebook which announced something along the lines of "I need a change in my life soon because I'm sick and tired of this same old routine every day"
Who of us hasn't felt something like that at some time or another?
I suppose the first thing to do is work out what are we 'sick' about - the routine itself; the demands that routine is making on our lives?
The next thing to consider is, perhaps.how much of that routine is the result of choice and how much is beyond your scope of control?
If we're really honest with ourselves there will be much of "the routine that makes us sick' is because of choices we either made or did not make at some point in our past.
We work and need to bring in money, to pay the bills for things we have chosen to 'have' at some point in the past.
We believe we have no other choices in how we can pay those bills, and we can't immediately unchoose the house, family, the lifestyle we aspired too - so we are 'trapped' in a life we have, at some point, decided is less than what we want now.
Perhaps taking responsibility for the reality of past choices, and being specific about what we want is the first step into 'self-improvement'.
Of course, there are things which affect our lives that are genuinely beyond our control and influence - and perhaps we need to consider how we can view these differently and stop beating our heads against the walls that we haven't built.
If life is shit, consider what you can do to change it ... kinds simple I guess.
Here's an interesting set of "measures for personal development" that might help focus your thoughts...
Each one of these dimensions is something we can do something about ...
Think in terms of improving (or developing) some of these dimensions...
Intellectual - study, developing thinking skills, or otherwise improving the mind.
Physical - becoming stronger, faster, fitter - developing stamina
Acquiring Talents - unlike the previous two items, which are relatively general, talents might have both a mental and physical component but are really about doing a distinctive thing. Learning how to juggle, for instance, or playing an instrument, or learning an art or craft.
Organizational - cleaning, decluttering, time management - develop systems and processes to organise yourself
Interpersonal - connecting. Improving the quality of relationships, from the most casual of co-workers to the most significant of others.
Experiential - seeking out new sensations and experiences. This could be as involved as international travel, or as simple as savouring a pleasant aroma.
Removal - getting rid of bad habits, or reducing negative effects on your life. Clearing the physical, emotional and spiritual clutter.
These are based on the 7th Paths to Self Development by Aaron Rath
What would happen if you gave yourself score out of ten for each of these dimensions (10 meaning that you'd totally 'cracked' that facet of your life)?
Would such an assessment help you consider how you could bring about change?
One of the core presuppositions within NLP is that 'all of the resources we need are inherent in our own physiology' and, on one level this idea can raise the question as to why anyone might seek the support of a coach - life, work or otherwise.
But the key here is that we may not recognise those resources and abilities we have.
Often we are too close to our own stuff to see our way through; we are in the forests of our lives and can't see the trees.
Coaching is a process as well as a tool.
Most of the world's most successful people – from athletes to business people – have coaches and they engage others to help them in a number of ways.
1) To Find Direction - we can drift through life without much of a plan, not really knowing where we're heading. A coach can change all of that by helping you really focus and figure out your purpose, vocation or goal. - and then work with you to set out a step by step plan of action.
2) Doing Things More Effectively - a coach can help you get serious about the success you deserve to have, and motivate you to use the what you have in the most effective way. They can encourage you to identify the skills you have and identify areas for improvement
3) To be your 'Accountability Partner' -we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to making excuses and putting things off, a coach can help deal with procrastination. When we're only answerable to ourselves, it's too easy to say "I'll do it tomorrow" – and we all know tomorrow never comes! A coach is there to a kind of conscience, providing a supportive nudge in the right direction and sometimes demanding answers when we let ourselves down.
4) From A - B with out a detour through C.D & E - a coach can save you the stress of having to figure all out everything on your own. The benefit of your coach's knowledge and experience, plus the step-by-step plan they can help you to build, can help you gain a real edge in terms of personal and professional development
5) To be a motivator - if we've been moving along on our own for a while, it's easy to become demotivated and lose confidence in our own abilities. A couch will help you re-focus on your successes, plans and possibilities.
6) To notice blind spots - we can all be guilty of ignoring our own faults, and more interestingly not spotting those patterns which cause us to falter. A coach will help identify those blocks and 'invisible' sabotage tactics that we have developed for ourselves.
In short a Coach has a professional view of your personal and professional success. They work with you to create plans; refine behaviours and shape attitudes which allow you to achieve those things YOU define as being goals and targets.
It's interesting how people may not have a problem in hiring a 'trainer' to help them get 'into better physical shape' but will question paying for a business or personal 'coach' to help them in other areas of their life. The truth of the matter is that almost every successful individual; every high-performer, has worked with a mentor or a coach for part (or possibly) most of their journey.
Dr Alan B Jones
Director Inspire NLP
Coach, Trainer, Author
dr alan jones phd, frsa
director inspire nlp