You can still get your Kindle Copy at the launch price until end April 2018 through Amazon.
You can now see the Transformation TV programme based on the book and sign-up to the Bootcamp, an eight module coaching follow-up to the programme and the book.
The TV programme itself is free to view.
It might have been...
Several years ago I was handed a suitcase of old papers by the widow of a well known local magician, the hope was that I could find something to share with the magical community so as to "leave something" to remember him by.
Among the tattered and sepia papers in the case were ideas of routines, comedic sketches and magical effects. These were shared with members of the local magic community in a special publication.
Within the pages of one of the note books I found the following poem...
Of all the sad, sad words that pass men’s lips,
The saddest of them all is these — “It might have been”
It might have been — It might have been
Four little words, yet what do they mean?
They tell us of misery, ruin and loss,
Of the fortune that’s gone on the turn or the toss
Of a card or a coin
They tell of the dear ones gone pass recall
A memory now though she once was his all.
It might have been.
Of shame and repentance and who knows but you
In the depths your heart holds memories too…
Memories, memories, shattered cracked dreams
Things that once had been secure in your grasp.
Now well, they might have been
They pass ever before us in ghastly array,
Their skeleton chains rattle by day,
And worse in the night they come back to torment us,
To mock and to say,
“We’re the ghosts of your promises your hopes and your dreams
We’re the things that you worked for,
Your plans and your schemes.
We’re far away from you
There’s a gulf in between,
We’re gone now for ever,
But once might have been”.
I came across an article about Bronnie Ware – an Australian nurse and counsellor – worked in palliative care; taking care of terminally ill people, most of whom had less than 12 weeks to live. And a lot of her work involved providing counselling and relief from the physical and mental stresses that come naturally when a human being comes face to face with their mortality. During her conversations she would talk about regrets and might have been's...
It is from the lips of the dying then, that the living can take advice for here are the top five regrets reported by Bronnie Ware:
1) I wish I pursued my dreams and aspirations, and not the life others expected of me
The lesson - if you know what really makes you happy, do it!
2) I wish I didn’t work so hard
The lesson - simplifying your lifestyle; making better choices, so you may not need all that money you're chasing
3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mind
The lesson - speak your mind, express your true feelings so reduce the build up stores of bitterness that cause distress
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
The lesson - stay connected, really connected
5) I wish I had let myself be happier
The lesson - happiness is, perhaps a choice.? Work towards letting go of past hurts, pains and negativity whilst be empowered by pasts successes, loves and joys. We can't change our pasts, but we can change the way we react to it.
Create a Mental Movie to Achieve Your Goals
We all have something in life (or work) that we want to achieve.
Most of the time we don't know how to go about achieving these goals.
Often when we do know how to go about achieving them we just allow ourselves to fail by simply giving up.
Creating a mental movie can increase your chances of success as it is a creative and simple way to program your mind.
A mental movie is a creative visualization technique used by Neuro Linguistic Practitioners to help clients reprogram their mind to overcome fears or phobias, heal past traumas or to achieve work or life goals.
If you know the goal you want to achieve then you can take advantage of this powerful tool to help you create a successful outcome.
Step 1: Decide your goal.
It is essential that you can identify the goal you want to achieve. It must be precise. Write it down.
Step 2: Create a blueprint.
You know the end point; the goal. It is important that you create a blueprint describing the exact change you want to make. For it to be useful and generate a successful outcome it must:
• Use all five senses;
• Be very descriptive; and
• Be written in the present tense
For example, if your goal is to become more confident in social situations your blueprint might look like this:
I am at a party for a colleague's birthday. The room is brightly lit with music playing. There are red, blue, yellow and green balloons everywhere. I can hear people talking and laughing. I am standing in the centre of a group of colleagues talking about a movie. Everyone is listening. They are smiling at me and I feel happy. The beat of the music pulses through me making me feel invigorated. I feel comfortable talking and listening with others.
With every sip of my drink I feel stronger and more confident. Each bit of the delicious food makes me feel happier. I am smiling…
You can include different scenes, just like in a real movie. So change the situations to include any that are important in helping you to create the movie of the life you desire.
Step 3: Relax
It is important to relax as this is how you will get your subconscious mind to open up and be receptive to your mental movie.
Find somewhere comfortable. Close your eyes. Tense every muscle in your body and then release. Repeat twice more. Next, breathe in deeply through your nose to a count of five and out through your mouth to a count of eight. Repeat this three times or until you feel relaxed.
Step 4: Play your movie
This is where the mental programming takes place. You play your mental movie visualizing you living the goal you set. It is important that your movie is played as if you are living it now. Feel the emotions, experience the sights and sounds. Don't forget to include all your senses to make the experience feel real.
To make sure that your new mental program is fully installed you will need to repeat steps 3 and 4 every day for 30 days for best effect.
"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." - Napoleon Hill
This is a version of the SHiFTing method explored as part of the Dream Realisation Technique in the forthcoming book : The Secret to Your Future History.
This book due to be released Spring 2018 is a complete exploration of personal development through psychologically supported techniques.
Join the closed Facebook group to ensure you are kept informed of publication dates and materials to support the approaches in the book.
FACEBOOK GROUP : Your Future History
Positive Thinking - The Problems
A quick look beyond the covers of any self-help book and you will find the same, possibly dangerous, rhetoric of positive thinking.\
You have a really bad day at work - just think positively...
Your relationship ends terribly - just think positively, there is a silver lining...
Superficially subscribers to what is termed Positive Thinking , tend to be endorsing an attitude to lief in which 'the darker side' is repressed, or given short shrift. Indeed any philosophical approach in which personal realities are polished or shrouded may contain a problem.
Put more directly, if you focus on only the positive aspects of your life, then you are in danger of discounting (repressing) other parts of you life.
In short you are creating a fluffy reality - one in which the gulf between what you are feeling and you are allowing yourself to feel grows.
Jung spoke of the idea of our shadow and maintained that enlightenment was not about finding the light, but shining the light into the darkness.
In terms of our ability to 'bounce' back from difficulties, our emotional resilience, denying the light in the shadow and the shadow in the light does not the 'skill' of 'bouncing back' to be practised or developed.
No I am not for one minute saying that we should adopt morose attitude to life, what I am saying is that there needs to be a desire to 'walk in balance'. It's as ok to 'sad' as it is to be 'happy' as long as you 'own' those feelings as yours. Such ownership can encourage deeper and more relevant personal development.
Again to put another spin on things...
If you refuse to see the pain, does not mean that the pain ceases to exist.
I may not like the darkness, and I may prefer to stay in the light, but simply thinking about the light does not mean we actually have 24 hours of sunlight.
The challenge is about exploring the causes (attachments to) of sadness as well the causes (attachments to) happiness. In a forthcoming book I explore the idea of happiness in a bit more detail, but for now its worth your consideration to question 'what happiness means to me?'
Stoic philosophers maintained that any event is just an event. It is the meaning that we attach to each event which gives it its importance.
To be mindlessly happy despite the intensity of any event is to fail to explore the real attachments you place upon it.
In a spiritual sense, such denial does make personal enlightenment a bit of a challenge.
Dr Alan B Jones
Director Inspire NLP
Coach, Trainer, Author