Learning How to Say No
You want to be helpful at work.
People come up to you and ask for your help all the time.
Your boss gives you tasks because she knows you'll get the work done on time.
Your colleagues hit you up because you are one of the most knowledgeable people.
The trouble is, you have a difficult time getting your work done.
When this happens, you need to learn how to say no.
There are ways to say no that won't make you seem like the bad person.
One great way to do this is to let people know you have other tasks and that you can get to their tasks after you complete yours.
It's fine to help people out, but you should avoid doing their jobs for them. If someone asks you to do something simply because they don't feel like doing it, you need to stand firm in telling them this is unacceptable. You should first ask why they can't get to it.
Perhaps someone else has given them more tasks to do. You need to show them how to say no to those other people.
Some people are simply slackers.
They try to pass off all their work to other people. When you find one of these people, confront them. If you do this early on, they will lose the control. You will also show your other colleagues that you won't let the slacker have control, and they should follow suit.
You'll have a tougher time telling your boss no. She's the boss after all. However, you do need to let her know that your plate is full and try to compromise. See if you can get a priority of the extra tasks your boss is piling on. Also, if others on the team are currently freed up from their tasks, see if they would be willing to take on those extra duties.
It's important never to get angry when others approach you with more work. Smile and find out why they are hitting you up for the extra work. It could be they are not aware of your schedule. You can produce your to-do list if this is the case.
By staying calm, you keep the control in your corner. If you blow up at people, they are going to consider you volatile which makes it difficult for them to compromise with you. It's rarely a situation in which you will come up the winner.
It is okay to be firm with people when you discover they are simply trying to pass work off to you.
So, in summary...
You can download some notes on this topic here ...
Every now and then, you may ponder the complexities and maybe even some chaos in your life.
You might struggle to figure out what's next.
Maybe you feel confused at times about which way to go.
Have you thought about setting your life priorities to make your life easier?
When you're struggling to determine what's important to you, it's hard to make decisions.
What will you do next?
Where will you go for the evening?
Who will you choose to pass the time with?
Feeling torn between two or more people, places and things is common if you haven't yet identified your priorities. After all, when you consider everything and everyone in your life as all-equal in terms of their "level" of importance, it's going to be tough to choose what to do next.
Setting your life priorities is a way of identifying what's most important to you. Once you determine your priorities, you'll be pleased with the ease of making decisions and the serenity that comes with knowing you did the right thing.
Establishing priorities also gives you a clearer focus on how to allot your time. If you allot the bulk of your time to doing what's most important with the most important people in your life, you'll feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your life experiences.
Common Life Priorities
What might your priorities be?
The possibilities are endless. In the list below, you'll find many common priorities in no particular order.
Feel free to use the list as inspiration to help you figure out your own priorities.
* Extended family
* Personal appearance
* Health and physical exercise/activities
* Nutritious eating
* "Alone-time" with partner
* Quality time with the children
* Playing games on the internet
* Talking on the phone
* Watching television
Example of a "Prioritized" Listing of Life Priorities
The whole idea of setting priorities is to put the many elements of your life into an order, with those that are most important to you at the top.
Knowing your highest priority on the list is necessary in order to make focused, wise decisions that are right for you.
Consider this next list, which is prioritized, as an example of someone's life priorities (in order).
2. Alone-time with partner
4. Health and physical exercise
5. Nutritious eating
7. Watching television
8. Personal appearance
9. Hobbies - movies and reading
Coming Up With Your Own Priorities
Setting your priorities in life may take time and effort. However, taking the time to reflect on your day-to-day life and determine what's on the top of your list will make your life so much easier. Once your priorities are clear to you, decisions on how to spend your time and with who will be a cinch.
Engaging in this exercise of figuring out your priorities might reveal some things that shock or surprise you.
For example, you might realize that you're spending most of your time hanging out with friends even though you feel that your family is more important. Or you aren't taking as much care with your kids as you thought you were.
Regardless of what you discover that you weren't expecting, setting your priorities now will help you limit or even remove the less-important elements of your life and enable you to focus more fully on what means the most to you.
You can live more joyfully by setting your life priorities.
Knowing what's important to you and devoting your time to those things at the top of your list will ensure you experience an enriched and fulfilled life.
Set your life priorities today.
Dr Alan B Jones
Director Inspire NLP
Coach, Trainer, Author
dr alan jones phd, frsa
director inspire nlp